


Visibility

by roguefaerie (samidha)



Series: Reconcilliation (Reaper Jessica Moore) [16]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bobby Singer's House, Bobby Singer's Panic Room, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Memories, Mind Meld, Multi, Polyamory, Some Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 14:04:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13789275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/roguefaerie
Summary: The triad continues to bond. Sam shows Dean and Jess what really happened on his trip.





	Visibility

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just letting y 'all know, this 'verse is a big, huge comfort to me, and may never end. ;) I have a bit of a complicated relationship to this, but I know what plot elements I haven't resolved yet so... TLDR here's more, and there's more....
> 
> Also I'm horrible at titles. I had a couple more, but they were really ominous.

Maybe it shouldn’t be this way, Sam thinks, but his instincts to just lock himself away with Dean for a while and make sure he gets food and knows how much he’s loved are just incredibly strong, and that’s how the two of them are built.

He won’t abandon Jess, though, not again, not now that he’s finding balance. And no, that balance won’t involve Bobby, or maybe other hunters.

Dean working at the garage in town is one of the most comforting things that Sam can think of. Sure, Dean’s a gear-head. Electronics make sense to him. He likes to pull things apart and put them back together. And that’s fine. It’s really fine. It’s so much more fine than how Dean could be drinking himself to death in Bobby’s hell house.

Soon he’ll talk to the two of them about it, but he’s not ready yet, and it says a lot when Sam’s not ready to talk.

He encircles Dean for a moment while he cooks the pancakes, though, and Dean leans back into him for a moment, relaxing against him, then freezes. “Sammy….”

“Hey. I’ll let go.”

“Okay,” Dean says. “It’s not…”

“I know. It’s just big. It’s okay.”

Dean sighs, and reaches back and squeezes Sam’s hand. Then he reaches for Sam with the bond, settling into comfort there. _This?_

_Yes._

Jess joins them in the kitchen, studying both of them. “How should today be?” she asks.

They look back at her, a little bit cornered and unsure.

“Food,” Dean says. “Pancakes almost ready.”

“Yeah,” she says and smiles.

“We’ve got this,” Dean says, “We just take it slow…”

Sam nods. “Last night was...um...not slow.”

Dean grins. “Eh. Yeah. How many you want, Sammy?”

“Two.”

“So yeah, it wasn’t,” Dean says, readying plates, “And maybe…” he shrugs.

“If it’s weird...was it weird?”

Dean hands him his plate. “Sammy. Trust me. You know this-- It was always there.”

Sam nods. He carries a plate for him and one for Jess to the table, and Dean brings his own.

“It was. Hey, Dean. Thank you.”

“For breakfast?”

“Yeah. And just… yeah.”

“It was good, Sammy. We’re okay. Right?”

Sam lights up, a little laughter peeking out despite him. “Yeah, Dean. If you’re okay, we’re okay.”

“Well, let’s get to where you’re okay too, Sammy.”

“We will. We are. I don’t know.”

Dean makes sure when he sits at the table he’s close to Sam, close enough to touch. He doesn’t though, not yet.

_You remember the first night back?_

_Yeah, Dean._

_Yeah. So Sam, I don’t want you to worry. Please. I...didn’t know what to do, what would happen…_

_Me either._

_It was worth waiting, Sam. Not some cliche promise ring thing. It just was. We’re alright now. Aren’t we?_

_More than alright._

_I think so too._

Jess raises an eyebrow. “Do you all want me to get out of here for a little while?” she asks gently, and it’s still loud in the silence.

“No,” Sam says, and Dean shakes his head.

“We’re good,” Dean says. He reaches for Jess’ hand and squeezes it. “Gotcha, angel,” he says.

Because they are and he does.

*~*~*

The next day, though, Jess decides for herself--she’s going out.

Sam and Dean spend their Sunday in a tangle again, experimenting with every new sensation they can find. “Why did we wait?” Sam asks.

“Things were happening, I mean, Jess...was…”

Sam squeezes his eyes shut and sighs. “Yeah.”

“This is our family, Sam. We needed to all be okay. And we are.”

“We are.”

“Another thing to get tattooed on you maybe,” Dean says and grins. “Hey, Sam, how are you? How are you really?”

“I’m here. I mean, I’m where I’m supposed to be.”

“It’s good, huh? Is it?”

“So good, Dean.”

“Good. Here too,” Dean says.

And Sam believes him.

*~*~*

Something aches inside of them, like a healing wound that first needs to be tended to. They both feel it, and it’s something that makes them a little unsteady, a little unsure. The truth is that Sam doesn’t ever want to stop touching Dean, but he’s always been handsy and Dean’s used to it. It’s just that this is...more.

And it’s alright. It’s what Sam needs--it’s what they need.

While Jess is out, Sam curls against Dean like a cat and Dean quietly enfolds him, like so many times when Sam was floating off. But now Sam isn’t doing that at all. He’s here, where he’s supposed to be, and he wants--

And Dean wants it too, Dean wants Sam, Dean wants whatever Sam needs.

Sam curls in tighter and then pulls away just enough to lask permission so softly and leave a trail of kisses on Dean’s skin.

“Thank you. I’m home. With you. With Jess. I’m home.”

Dean nods. “You are. You _are_ home, Sammy. You made it.”

“Are we...I…”

“Sssh. We are where we are.”

“I just need you...to be okay.”

“I know. Breathe. I am.”

And Sam tries to remember to.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, Sammy.”

“I’m a little worried.”

“I know.”

“Jesus. Dean. I….I didn’t know it could...be…so… Even though we… but it’s just more.”

“It’s more,” Dean agrees, and smiles.

A whisper of Jess stops the flow of Sam’s words for a moment. They both get up, in tandem, and go out to meet her. Sam watches Dean enfold her, and she melts into his arms.

“You alright?” she murmurs. “Mm. You feel alright.”

Dean leans in for a kiss. “Mm. Tell Sam that. My family’s here,” he says, earnest. He clears his throat. “I’m the...the luckiest….”

She moves in to continue kissing him and it becomes...more.

Everything races along the bond and Sam feels compersion zinging through him. All he wants is the more that this is. More of everything.

Dean pulls away, a hint of worry in his voice. “Sammy?”

“Dean…” Sam’s voice is a little thick. “I just… Inside.... Can we get inside?”

They each reach into the car and grab the essential perishable grocery items Jess brought home with her, moving and working in tandem with well-practiced ease.

They get the food just inside the door, and Sam makes a noise they both know to mean, _Come here, please, I need you_ and it races through his mind. They catch it, and when he moves instinctively toward the bedroom they follow.

*~*~*

That’s not when Sam shakes apart, finally. First they get lost in each other and they sleep, drifting in and out of somnulescence between kisses. Jess curls in between them and sleeps so peacefully in the center of the circuit and Sam holds her close and lets go.

Just enough.

Just enough to let--

Feelings seep slowly like dripping water through the cracks. 

The misery of his trip comes out while he’s got mushrooms cooking on the stove later that night. He has insisted that tonight dinner is his job. And he mostly keeps it together. They’re eating happily, no idea what’s coming, though they’ve been waiting for it.

“Dean. Jess.” Sam clears his throat and it sounds horrible. “I um…” 

“Hit me,” Dean says.

“You need to show us?” Jess asks.

“I don’t want to but...yeah. Yeah, I think I do.”

“We’ve got you, Sam. Come on. Let it out.”

And Sam does, the events from Bobby’s playing in rapid-fire and Sam relives the panic that came then. But a pain shared is lessened, or so Sam thinks that’s the way it’s supposed to go.

The events of the trip cascade out of him and through the bond. Like the day close to a year ago when Sam showed Dean his first polyamorous family, they each experience them anew. Dean and Jess are there, really there, like the time Dean watched Sam and Greg. And that does help. It does.

Sam can breathe. God. Sam can breathe.

The pain is siphoning away, splitting off in three parts. He realizes this happened even when he was there the first time--when he was in the room. He feels relieved and heartsick at the same time.

 _Sammy. Keep breathing._ He hears both of them say it in unison and he remembers. The love of the last year. How it held him together until he could stand on his own two feet with them now.

He feels how hot it is in Bobby’s house again, and Bobby’s there, telling him he won’t, shouldn’t, have a family. He takes both of their hands and squeezes so tight. He can feel Dean’s heart racing, especially when Sam is in front of the iron door.

 _Don’t open it, Sam_ , Dean says. _Please._

But a memory is a memory; it’s already happened. So Sam does, and Dean reels back, feeling everything, everything.

Sam realizes he’s crying. Maybe he did at Bobby’s, and he certainly is now.

_I had to get home to you._

_And you did_ , Dean says.

_Jess. Please. Don’t think…._

_I don’t, baby._

_Can we burn it? This version?_ , Sam asks, quick as he can before the memory fades out.

He sees Dean barrel into the basement and pick the cot up, flipping it over so the netting hits the floor.

 _DAMMIT_ Dean screams. _Days and days I felt this shit._

 _I know_ , Sam says. _’M sorry._

And then the hell is over. The memory is gone. Like so much ash and smoke.

Dean looks mad enough to flip a table.

“Cursed,” Sam says.

“No you’re not, Sam, it’s that place. The way he has it now. Come on. We’ve got each other. And it’s messy and it’s…. But it’s family.”

“I just shouldn’t have... I’m sorry I did that to you.” He lowers his voice, “I can’t take the hell back.”

“Sammy,” Dean says. “Stop.”

“It got you back to us, Sam,” Jess says, “It got you back to me. Present day.”

“Present day,” Sam says, still reeling a bit.

“So it hurt. And I’m sorry, Sam. But it was...it was alright. We’re okay.”

“Just okay?” Sam asks.

“It’ll be fine, Sam.”

“It sucks, Sam,” Dean says, “Bobby being like that, but…”

“We can work on him. If we need to,” Sam says. “I just want both of you to be alright.”

“We are,” Jess says.

“Hey,” Dean says, “Did you like the part where I wrecked his basement?”

Sam grins. Because yeah. He did. He liked it a lot.

“Loved it, Dean.”

“There’s _always_ more where that came from. We gotcha. Okay?”

Sam opens his mouth to respond and Dean leans in. “Hey,” Dean says. “Believe me.”

A shiver runs up and down Sam’s body and he leans in too. 

“Okay,” he whispers. “Okay.”


End file.
